Pickup Play Consent and Negotiation class Handout
Asking With Intenton, Key Concepts What to think about when you request things of others. “Is it ok if I give you a hug?” vs. “How do you feel about a hug?”: Imbalance of Power Assumption of Consent Social Pressure Ambiguity Assumption of Comfort Activity 1 No, With Confidence Discussion Points: Reflect on the challenges of saying “no” in a sex positive play party environment. How might the desire to fit in, avoid confrontation, or uphold the atmosphere impact someone’s ability to decline? Consider the importance of creating an environment where saying “no” is honored and respected without judgment. How can this be achieved while maintaining a positive atmosphere? Discuss the idea that saying “no” is a form of enthusiastic consent to one’s own boundaries and desires. How can participants embrace this perspective while respecting others’ choices? Examine the impact of social pressures and assumptions in the context of expressing consent or decline at a play party. Brainstorm alternative ways to approach asking for consent that acknowledge and respect the autonomy and preferences of the other person. Activity: Practice and Role-play Saying “No” with Confidence: Take turns role-playing scenarios where one person proposes a potentially uncomfortable activity (e.g., a specific type of touch, engagement in a particular play activity). The other person practices saying “no” in a clear and confident manner that emphasizes their boundaries without apology. Asking Conscientiously: Practice asking for consent using the insights discussed earlier. Choose scenarios that might involve more intimate interactions and use the alternatives to “Is it okay if I give you a hug?” as a starting point. Negotiating with Queer bodies Names and Pronouns What do you call your parts? Avoid Assumptions Advocate for yourself Zee’s Flowchart of Consent Discourse ...